woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
