The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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