I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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