You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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