all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
