planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
