If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
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Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
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I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.