Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security