I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
