booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I touched a dick in church today
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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