what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
