so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
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I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
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How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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