He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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