Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
