Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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