Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
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That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
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Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He has the fingertips of a God
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