If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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