I just cut my nipple shaving
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
