There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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