one two three fourrrrnication!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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