the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I need water and some morals
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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