College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
