i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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