it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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