I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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