i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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