Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
