like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
