called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
