oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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