remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
