My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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