True but thats because hes a fetus.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
