my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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