No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
