is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
