Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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