ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
how drunk are you?
Several
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
