It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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