i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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