its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
