Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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