I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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