Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
