...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Did I show you my penis last night?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
