I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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