I just made out with a guy for $7.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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