Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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