Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
two words...techno handjob
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
