i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
