Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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