you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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