Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
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he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
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I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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