is your mom at the bar?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
