4 words: hood of his car
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
