He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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