do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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